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    mmgardiner1@gmail.com | 201-771-3510

  • Michelle Marx Gardiner

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    Five Polite Ways for Introverts to Leave a Party Early

    November 14, 2019

    Most people who are introverted have no desire to attend a party. For introverts, parties are torturous social affairs, putting you far out of your comfort zone and forcing you to interact with strangers. Unfortunately for the introvert, there are moments in life when you absolutely must attend a party. If for you, the best […]

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    Five Polite Ways for Introverts to Leave a Party Early

    November 14, 2019

    Most people who are introverted have no desire to attend a party. For introverts, parties are torturous social affairs, putting you far out of your comfort zone and forcing you to interact with strangers. Unfortunately for the introvert, there are moments in life when you absolutely must attend a party. If for you, the best thing about a party is leaving it, here are five ways to make a quick exit.

    1. Tell The Host in Advance

    One polite way to leave a party early is to make your excuse ahead of time. When you reply to accept the invitation, let the host know that you have to leave early because of another commitment. If it’s a less formal affair, you can let the host know when you arrive that you have to leave early. That way when it’s time to go, they won’t be surprised.

    2. Take a Bathroom Break

    Using a bathroom break as a method of escape is most handy for sit-down or small parties. Excuse yourself to use the bathroom; when you come out of the bathroom, grab your coat and/or purse and make your way to the host, thanking them for a lovely time.

    3. The Early Morning

    The tried and true “early morning” is the perfect excuse to leave a party. “I’m sorry I have to go, I have an early morning tomorrow.” Everyone understands having to hit the hay a bit earlier because of an early morning commitment.

    4. Sudden Sickness

    Alcohol at the party is a convenient scapegoat for your early departure. Let the host know you drank too much, or that the alcohol didn’t hit you well, so you have to head home.

    5. Blame the Sitter

    Letting your hosts know you have to get home to relieve your baby or pet sitter is a no-fail way to leave a party early.

     

    Whatever method of escape you choose, when it’s time to duck out, make sure you take the time to find your host and thank them for inviting you. Be sure to let them know they were a great host by complimenting the food or saying how much fun you had, so they don’t interpret your exit as their party being a dud.

    If you’re an introvert and are looking for support and guidance in overcoming shyness or handling social situations, a mental health professional can help. Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

    Filed Under: Anxiety, Self-Esteem

    5 Subtle Exercises to Calm Anxiety in Public

    October 24, 2019

    According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults over the age of 18 suffer from an anxiety disorder. If you are one of them, you know how difficult your life can feel most days. When anxiety strikes, the world around us can become a sort of funhouse, only not that much […]

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    5 Subtle Exercises to Calm Anxiety in Public

    October 24, 2019

    According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults over the age of 18 suffer from an anxiety disorder. If you are one of them, you know how difficult your life can feel most days.

    When anxiety strikes, the world around us can become a sort of funhouse, only not that much fun. It’s important to be able to self-soothe in these instances. But how can you calm an anxiety attack subtly when you’re out in public?

     

    Breath Work

    As soon as you feel the anxiety coming on, focus intently on your breathing and nothing else. Begin to take slow… deep breaths. Inhale for a slow count of three… hold for a count of three… and exhale for a count of three. Slow deep breaths send a signal to our body that we are not under attack and everything is okay.

     

    Talk to Yourself

    In your mind, remind yourself that you are having an experience but that you are NOT that experience. While you feel that something is wrong, remind yourself that you are actually safe and all is well.

     

    Visualize

    Think of something that calms you. This may be your childhood bedroom or your grandparent’s home. It could be your favorite beach or your own bathtub. Simply put yourself IN that space. Use your full imagination to feel yourself there and allow the calm to settle over you.

     

    Carry Lavender Oil

    Keep a small vile of lavender oil in your purse or pocket and inhale its scent. You can even rub some between your finger and then rub on your temples to calm down.

     

    Practice Listening Meditation

    If you’ve never tried listening meditation, I highly recommend it for everyone. But it can be especially beneficial when you are feeling anxious, and here’s why. Listening requires you to stop thinking. Try it now. Stop reading and instead listen to all of the ambient sounds there in the room with you, outside the door and window.

    What do you hear?

    Let your sense of hearing grow and grow, picking up more subtle sounds. The buzz of the lights overhead… the noise of the ice maker… a bee at the window… your dog’s collar down the hall…

    It’s actually a very fun exercise to do. And in order to REALLY GIVE SOUND YOUR FULL ATTENTION, you can’t think while listening. It’s a bit like trying to juggle while standing on your hands, it simply cannot be done.

    Much of our anxiety comes from our anxious thoughts. It’s our reptilian brain trying to keep us alive by alerting us to all of the dangers around us. But when we meditate, this mind chatter goes away.

     

    When an anxiety attack comes on, life can feel unbearable. The next time this happens to you in public, try one or more of these techniques.

    And if you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please get in touch. I’d be happy to explore treatment options.

    Filed Under: Anxiety

    4 Healthy Ways to Distract Yourself from Anxiety

    August 26, 2019

    Anxiety is a natural dialogue between our mind and body. It’s a red flag that something might be going on in our surroundings that requires our attention. For most of us, anxiety is an uncomfortable but fleeting feeling that pops up on occasion during particularly stressful times. For some, anxiety may be more present and […]

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    4 Healthy Ways to Distract Yourself from Anxiety

    August 26, 2019

    Anxiety is a natural dialogue between our mind and body. It’s a red flag that something might be going on in our surroundings that requires our attention.

    For most of us, anxiety is an uncomfortable but fleeting feeling that pops up on occasion during particularly stressful times. For some, anxiety may be more present and color more of their daily life. And for still others, anxiety is a constant torture; a nightmare they can’t awaken from.

    Depending on your level of anxiety, there are some healthy coping strategies you can use to manage it. Here are 4 I recommend:

    Mind Your Mind

    How often are you aware of your own thoughts? Our thoughts tend to bubble up from our subconscious without much control from our conscious mind. For those experiencing anxiety, many of these thoughts will be negative and frightening, although the majority will not be based in reality.

    Start to pay attention to the thoughts behind the feelings. Instead of thinking the worst will happen, challenge the thought. What is the realistic likelihood the worst will happen on a scale of 1 – 10?

    The more you do this, the more you will retrain your mind to process life differently.

    Remind Yourself What Anxiety Is

    Beyond frightful emotions, anxiety often comes with physical sensations like tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath. In other words, it can feel like you are dying.

    But you’re not.

    You are having a physical response to an irrational fear or thought. Remind yourself of that ancient dialogue your mind and body are having and know that, in reality, you are okay.

    Learn Your Triggers

    Once you learn to pay attention to your thoughts and remain calm knowing you are having a natural reaction to what you perceive as a threat, find the threat. Observe your surroundings to find the potential trigger that activated your reaction. If there are other people in the room, notice their reaction to your trigger. Do they seem uneasy or concerned in the least? Chances are they don’t because the threat is not real. Store this information away so eventually your subconscious mind will stop thinking of the trigger as a threat.

    Breathe

    Slow, deep breaths have been shown to instantly calm a person. Your heart rate will slow, your muscles will relax, your entire body will return to a normal state of being. Don’t underestimate the power of just taking a moment to breathe.

    If you find you need a bit more help controlling your anxiety, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss treatment options with you.

    Filed Under: Anxiety


    201-771-3510
    mmgardiner1@gmail.com

    317 Godwin Avenue
    Midland Park, NJ 07432

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